Sunday, January 31, 2016

One Of The Best Days of My Life

This blog might be irrelevant to whoever is reading this but if this somewhat interests you then keep reading it gets good.

Okay so yesterday I went to a meetup for Hayes Grier but there was also Twan Kuyper, some guy who I found out is named Charles Gitnick, another guy who I found out is named Neels Visser, and Tez. I took a picture with all of them and that Charles guy got mad at me.

My friend went to the event at 7 AM to get a good spot in line, which she did thank you very much, and then I arrived at 10 and snuck into line with her. For the two hours we spent in the line outside I met two fun girls and we ended up laughing a lot and making friends with the security guard ( Robert but we call him Rob ) Fast forward to one and a half hours later when a car drives by and we see Tez' face popping out of the window with Hayes right next to him. I almost died in the moment of seeing him in a car I'm not sure how I survived the meeting part of it. Then they let us in, told us some ground rules, and got us into more lines. The second Hayes walked out, I screamed "OH MY GOD YOU'RE REAL OH mY GOD" and that is quite evident in the video. The meet and greet started and Hayes was taking pictures and sometimes answering when people yelled at him ( I tried to do so but it only worked once ) I yelled "YO HAYES" and he looked at me and said "Hey I like your shirt." and I almost cried. Soon enough, it was my turn but I had to go through Twan, Charles, Neels, and Tez first. When I met Twan I said "Hey how you doin man" and he said "Good, what about you" and I don't think I need to write out my answer. We took a picture and I was about to move on when he said "NO that's a bad one lets do it again" and we did. Next up was that Charles guy ( he got so mad at me ), so I walked up to him and me thinking I'm funny said "Hey look I'm taller than you" and laughed about it for the ten seconds it took to take a picture. Well...what do you expect I didn't know who he was. The conversation with Neels was similar to the one with Twan so not really anything to say there. After him was Tez, who should remember me as the girl who greeted him with "YO FAMMM WHATS UP HOW ARE YOU DOING BRO" and then we acted all trap for the next fifteen seconds. I told my mom to record me going up to Hayes and hugging him ( BEST HUG OF MY LIFE ). We talked for a bit and he signed my phone case and hugged me like four times and then that darn security guard ( not Rob, Rob's chill ) was like "Ma'am you need to leave there are more people in line" and so Hayes hugged me on more time and we said bye and I think my life is complete now. JKDFHSLDFGLA IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY AND IM NOT OVER IT OMG.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

really bad puns part three

m8

Let's get down to business ( to defeat the Huns )

OK I'm just one living joke...

- I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden without explanation. It just doesn't make any cents

- I like Tubbs. Go ahead and Neko At-Sue Me

- My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4

- Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side

- Waiting for death takes a lifetime

- I got some shoes from my drug dealer recently, I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

- My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.

- How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it

- What do you call an intergalactic romance?
A space-ship

- A guy walks into a bar and noticed three pieces of meat hanging off the ceiling, He asks the bartender why they're there, the bartender replies "if you can jump up and slap the meat you get free drinks for the rest of the night, however if you miss you have to pay for everyone's drink in the next hour. Wanna try it?" The guy says "Nah the steaks are too high"

- How do you greet a German Pastry Chef?
Gluten Tag

- Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant.

- Traveling on a carpet is a rugged experience.

- What do French people call a sad Thursday?
A tra-Jeudi

- I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

- I've never understood the fashion industry, those people are so clothes-minded...

- Why didn't the skeleton go through with the robbery?
He had no guts.

- Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep an ion them.

I mean who needs friends at this point....

One Direction - The Most Problematic Band In The Universe

I'm not exaggerating in the slightest bit.

If you haven't heard yet, One Direction began their 18-month hiatus on December 13, 2015 with an unforgettable performance on the stage where they started ( Harry wore a really expensive Gucci suit on that day...unforgettable ). You would think, since One Direction is now on a break, directioners would have a break from the darn drama of this band but nOoOoOoO. We've got Louis with Babygate/Briana and Danielle, Harry with Kendall, Niall with Selena, and Liam with his solo music.

Louis

Babygate - Let me just say there is a 99.9999% that this is fake so I will explain what it is and how its fake. In July of 2015, the media announced that Louis Tomlinson got an LA stylist pregnant and it was supposedly confirmed on Good Morning America when he said its an exciting time ( by the way, the other boys' faces when he said that proved enough ). At that time it was said that she was pregnant for about 5 months so she was pregnant for almost a year ( around 10-11 months ). Also her "baby bump" is on and off and pictures of her clubbing and a sex tape were released ( #OhNoBriana ).
UPDATE 1/23/16: THE CHILD HAS BEEN BORN LOUIS TWEETED ABOUT IT WITH MANY SMILEY FACES...I'M VERY SURPRISED.  https://twitter.com/Louis_Tomlinson/status/690859667224928256

Harry

This boy. I swear to god he's supposed to be married to Louis not on a yacht with Kendall Jenner ( even though she is the least problematic of those freakin Kardashians ) They were on a yacht in St Barts where the paps snapped pictures of them together ( and under a towel I wonder what happened there :O ) This is obviously a PR stunt because they weren't trying to hide from the paps. They knew they would be seen and Harry is obviously married to Louis ( if in fact Larry isn't real I'm crawling into a hole okay )

Niall

The bread. He went to Santa Monica with Selena Gomez ( queen queen queen ) and went on a couple of rides and took her to the X-Factor finale where One Direction began and paused ( it hurts to type "ended" ) instead of his brother Greg. Okay well this isn't much of a problem because I ship it a lot but damn these boys don't give us a break.

Liam

At home with his dogs and writing songs.

May it always be like that.


I think I proved my point.

One Direction-The Most Problematic Band In The Universe