really bad puns part two

Oh well maybe this is why I'm not punpular.

Okay well on with the puns.

Credit to tumblr for proving how lame I can be.

- a friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

- what did the grape say when it got stepped on?
nothing but it let out a little wine

- the roundest night at King Arther's round table was Sir Cumference.

- What A Feeling it must be to be staring at him Walking In The Wind at the End Of The Day he could Drag Me Down even the Long Way Down and I wouldn't care. God, he could mess up my name and call me Olivia and I'd be like okay that's cool man. He'd probably give it a temporary fix and be like Hey Angel I'm really sorry about that so you know I'm going to Love You, Goodbye.
BUY MADE IN THE AM ON ITUNES ( not exactly a pun but made in the am came out yesterday and it sounds like freakin heaven )

- Alexander sends you chain emails?

Alexander Spamilton.

Alexander buys designer clothes?

Alexander DAMNilton.

Alexander takes public transportation?

Alexander Tramilton.

Alexander helps a bro out?

Alexander Familton.

Alexander listens to the latest pop hits? ( made in the am )

Alexander Jamilton.

- what is it called when you put eggs in a console disc tray?

a console eggsclusive

- dammit where did my pencil go...to Pennsylvania...on a Pennsylvacation.

- how many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?

3.14 ( :O she makes math puns too :O )

- I work at Best Buy and this famous lady came in to buy a cool laptop. it was a Dell.

- are you hungary

you should czech the fridge

are you russian to the kitchen

is there any turkey in there

you know you cant eat it if it has greece on it

- where did noah keep his bees

in the ark hives

- what happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?

it becomes daytrogen

....I'm going to bed

good nitrogen

sleep tightrogen

don't let the bed bugs bitrogen.

- I had a joke about murder that would've killed but I'm sure you're all sick to death of those.

- elevators are so annoying they drive me up the wall

- Me 30 years from now

Mom: I'll talk to you later, love you - goodbye

Me: hey heY HEY

Me: OH WHY YOU WEARIN THAT TO WALK OUT OF MY LIFE

Mom: k now I remember why I haven't called you in so long

( BUY MADE IN THE AM ON ITUNES )

- relationships are a lot like algebra

do you ever look at your X and wonder Y

   yes I know this pun just doesn't add up

- why did the phonologist buy apples at the store last night?

because there were minimal pears.

( I don't understand this but maybe someone smart will and explain it to me )

- omFG ALL WEEK MY DAD HAS BEEN YELLING AT ME ABOUT EATING HIS FRUIT SNACKS AND I PROMISED HIM I WOULDN'T EAT ANY OF THEM AND I WAS IN THE BATHROOM GETTING A 'LADY PRODUCT' AND HE HEARD THE WRAPPER OPENING AND SCREAMED "I KNOW YOU'RE EATING MY FRUIT SNACKS" AND BUSTED THE DOOR OPEN AND GRABBED IT OUT OF MY HAND AND WALKED ALL THE WAY TO HIS ROM BEFORE REALIZING HE TOOK A PAD OUT OF HIS 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER'S HANDS.

                the man just wanted his fruit snacks...

- I like wearing oversized sweaters. not because they're really comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big I get to flop them around and smack people.

I love sleeve smacking people

like flippity flop you need to stop

whippity whap don't talk crap

- if I was a general I'd start every sentence with "generally speaking..."

- what do you call a pair of mugs

a cup-ple

AND NOW FOR THE PUN TO END THIS BLOG OF PUNS

- who's the happiest member of one direction

harry smiles

wow I'm so punderful

really bad puns

By the title of this, you know what this is about.

BAD PUNS FROM ME, TUMBLR ( mostly ), AND A POPTART COMMERCIAL ( pickup line included ).

- how do japanese chihuahuas say hello?

konnichihuahua

- dang girl are you my appendix because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

- do you think if tumblr opened up a café it would be called yumblr

- what's it called when you shoot someone on Halloween
  
trigger treating

    no its called homicide

        trigger treating

- recent studies show that if lightning is unhappy with conditions at work it goes on strike

- my friend was cold so I told her to stand in the corner

corners are 90 degrees

- what kind of shoes do thieves wear?

sneakers

- when a cop yells "freeze" you can yell back "now everybody clap yo hands" and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possibly deported from the country. ( not a pun but I find this funny )

- can you believe one direction's bones are taking a break before them

- so today this guy this accidentally hit me with the door when he was walking out of a classroom and instead of saying sorry he looked me over and said "pretty cute" and walked away. And then I realized, I literally just got hit on. The pun is greater than the pain.

- are you a child of Apollo cuz you light up my world like nobody else
are you a child of Aphrodite because the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
are you a child of Demeter cuz when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
are you Percy Jackson cuz you don't know you're beautiful.

- what did the ghost teacher say to the class?
look at the board and I will go through it again

- telekinesis is not a HANDy skill.

wow these are so punny I'm dying.

Okay as you can tell I am very lame because I LOVE PUNS.